Practicing radical self care! -7:30AM post gym selfie from Friday

(*Todays message was originally posted on my Instagram account Friday morning- hence the emojis!). https://www.instagram.com/elizturnercoach/?hl=en

Burn Out 

This is a subject that comes up again and again in my line of work. I have seen so many women juggling full time work, their families, supporting loved ones who are ill or disabled, striving to be perfect at work and home (the topic of perfection I will leave for another day as that is a meaty one!) – all while putting themselves on the back burner. A few years ago I did this as well.

But I learned some hard lessons and I do this no longer! ?

Why I practice radical self-care?

Because it is key!

If you aren’t functioning at 100% how can you best support others?

We want to be functioning from a soulful place of strength not operating out of fear, right? You can only run on the fumes of anxiety and stress for so long and then you will hit a wall.

How to prevent this?

RADICAL SELF CARE!

and…

… for me, going to the gym consistently is one of my RSC pillars.

My alarm went off at 5:30am and I did not want to get up as I was tired from a busy week, and the bed was so cozy, but I thought about how good I would feel after. So I went and took some of my micro aggressions out on the medicine ball! ?

Now as I write this I feel less stressed about events that before were bothering me, I feel calmer and stronger and I sleep better. ??

Exercise, restorative sleep, massages with an RMT, play, family time, things to look forward to, and eating food that comes from the ground, not a box or bag, are other key pillars of RSC ?.

The Daily Check In

So today please check in with yourself and ask what you are doing in terms of RSC?

How are you feeling in your body right now?

What would feel good to you to do today?

-Coffee with a friend?

-A nap?

-A stretching class?

-A hike?

-A long soak in the bath?

Do it!

Put yourself first and watch how everything else falls into place!

You deserve it!

xo

Eliz

The post Radical Self Care appeared first on Elizabeth Ritchie Counselling & Coaching Services.

Feeling like your life is stuck in a rut? Then this is for you. Keep reading to find out 7 sure fire methods to help you get unstuck.

Hello friend, September is upon us, and after the back to school flurry things are starting to settle down in our household. And this weekend, along with hockey tryouts, a piano lesson and grocery shopping, we will be beginning to pack up a few things here at my parents farm, as it looks like our renovations are finally nearing completion! Woot!!  After almost 10 months away from home, I hope to be sleeping in my own bedroom by the end of the week. Yipee!!! The house looks fabulous and I will be sure to post some pics in the next Fullflight missive. But back to what to do if you are stuck in a rut…..

I was working with a client recently and she was describing her mood when she returned home from work. Going to work uplifts her, she enjoys her job and the people she works with, but returning to her house is a different story. She described driving home from work and rounding the corner to see her house with her front yard strewn with junk, and once inside, being greeted by more mess. Certainly not an uplift.

The family dynamics are such that my client ends up being responsible for most everything, walking the dogs, grocery shopping, getting the meals, looking after an ailing relative, and ALL the cleaning. There are other grown ups in the house but for one reason or another they aren’t pitching in. (And that is a whole other discussion).You can see now why coming home weighs so heavily on my clients shoulders.

Rules to getting out of a rut-

1. De-clutter / clean up / throw out the junk:

Heck hire a maid service if you have to! This is the suggestion I gave my client, and I do this myself when the ‘stuff’ of life starts piling up around me and I can no longer see my counter tops. Maybe it’s just a quick tidy that your place needs, but if it is a big job, pay someone to help you out. It’s worth it.

2. Try the fresh flowers cure:

This goes hand in hand with Rule #1 above. Once you have tidied up an area, and the surface is clean place a vase of fresh flowers there. Instant mood boost!

3. Shift your perspective:

Instead of looking at what is wrong in your life, start look at all that is going right. For the client above I suggested that she write down 10 things she is grateful for, every night before bed. Maybe there is junk in her front yard but she has a grassy, big lawn. Her house may need cleaning but it is hers, and she loves the neighbourhood it sits in. I like to greet the morning like this as well, noting all the things I am grateful for just after waking up. This is my way of ensuring that the day starts off on a peaceful and positive note, before I am swept up in the ‘to do’s’ of the day.

4. Start with the easy.

Let’s say you are feeling so overloaded at work or with your life, that you are frozen, you don’t even know where to begin. Start with one small action. If you are at work, at your desk, start with something doable. Maybe it’s calling a customer you know will be friendly as opposed to calling the grumpy one.

Or maybe your being hard on yourself for getting out of shape, or putting on some extra pounds? If that is the case, again start with something easy. Lace up your kicks and go for a walk around the block. If you want to get to a gym class in the morning, pick out your exercise clothes the night before and lay them out, so when the alarm goes off you will be ready and your morning will run smoothly. Just take one small action in the direction of where you want to go.

5. Be your #1 cheerleader:

When I ventured out into the coaching / entrepreneurial world I had the expectations that my friends and family would gather round me and give 110% in supporting this new venture of mine.

Nope.

Did not happen.

There are only a couple of my close friends and family members that helped me out when I was in that fledgling stage, and I so appreciated it, and do till this day!

But I did expect my cheerleading section to be bigger. But you know, people are busy, they are focussing on their needs, and maybe they don’t even know what you want from them.  What I have realized is that you need to be your own biggest cheerleader first. It doesn’t matter what goal you are trying to reach, the number of set backs along the way, or the number of ‘likes’ you get,  what matters is how YOU feel about what you are doing. I have put up blog posts and released work into the world that has been greeted with …crickets. But you know what, I don’t care, because I love what I do, it is my way of ‘serving’ and I would do it even if no one paid me, and to me that is a BIG win.

Be your own biggest cheerleader, ‘nuf said.

6. Try something new:

Hip hop dance class, wake boarding, poetry slam contest, motorcycle lessons, whatever. Find one thing that lights you up and go for it. Go for it even if you feel like a ‘shlumpadinka’ (lazy person in yoga pants on couch), go for it even if your roots are showing and you haven’t shaved your legs in weeks. Go for it even if you feel silly, scared or self conscious. Move through that fear and you will discover the goodies on the other side and suddenly you won’t feel so stuck.

7. Consult a professional:

If you have tried some of these suggestions and you still feel stuck, or you can’t contemplate even attempting any of the above, then it might be time to consult a professional. Depending on your level of need you could hire a coach, see a counsellor or therapist, or book time with a psychologist. If money is an issue check out free counselling resources in your area or inquire about ‘sliding scale’ payments.

This is your one life and you don’t want to be living it from the ‘in the ditch’ position on the side of he road, watching everyone else zooming by enjoying themselves.

You deserve to zoom too!

Getting to ‘zoom’….

That being said, everyone’s ‘stuckness’ is different, so different strategies will be employed for different people, but the above techniques I have shared are guaranteed to give you a quick jump start, they will help you see things differently, and hopefully get you out of the rut you are in and back on the road of life.

And if you have any tools you employ for when you are stuck in a rut, I’d love to hear about them- so put them in the comments, or if that is too public for your liking, contact me at admin@fullflightlifecoaching.com

Until next time my friend,

xo

Eliz

The post Stuck in a rut? Here are 7 ways to get out. appeared first on Elizabeth Ritchie Counselling & Coaching Services.

– Kate Spade

First Kate Spade and then Anthony Bourdain. Could the week of ended on a lower note?

Kate Spade!

With her whimsical and colourful handbags and note paper.

Kate Spade a depressed person? How can this be?

And then.

Anthony Bourdain.

The well loved pirate of the cooking world. A man with such a lust for life, such gusto, with an innate ability to connect and make us want to travel and eat and embrace life.

WT heck?

The world is still reeling.

I gotta admit Friday morning after scrolling through the news on my phone I cried.

It was like I lost a friend.

We Have to Keep Talking About Mental Health 

This past week has been a reminder.

A reminder to keep talking to each other, to keep connecting, and reaching out and asking ‘How are you doing?’ and more importantly,  ‘How are you really doing?’

And if we know of a friend who is struggling right now, check in with them.

We are all busy, with full lives and competing priorities, but if we lose the ability to connect with others and to care, we are truly doomed.

On Shame 

We can’t let shame get the best of us either.

There is no shame in feeling broken, unloved, or less than. We ALL have been there one way or another, had some type of mental health crisis – be it depression, anxiety, a panic attack, whatever…

You don’t need a diagnosis from a doctor to have a mental illness.

And know there ARE solutions to this!

There are ways to work through whatever is dragging you down, but to do that you first have to have to –

tell someone.

It is ok to lose the battle…

…but keep fighting the friggin war!

A couple of resources to share;

The best books I have come across in terms of getting past shame and finding the courage to be vulnerable, to open up to others about your pain, is Brene Brown’s work.

‘The Gifts of Imperfection’ and ‘Daring Greatly’ are two good jumping off points. Her TED talks on these subjects are excellent as well. Google them.

Pema Chodron’s book ‘When Things Fall Apart’ is another excellent resource.

Crisis Hotlines

Canada – http://www.crisisservicescanada.ca

U.S. – http://crisiscallcenter.org/get-help-247/

Europe – http://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/Europe/

If you need any specific info / resources feel free to connect with me at admin@fullflightlifecoaching.com 

And, if after this rough week you want some good news….

Because it is June, my birthday month and I’m going to be half a century old – yep fifty years old!!  I have put together a fun little something that you can check out HERE

xo

Eliz

The post Yep I cried. appeared first on Elizabeth Ritchie Counselling & Coaching Services.