I wish this was a pic of me perfectly styled, laughing on a beach, but it is me in my bed Saturday morning – angry and sad.

I’m not sure where to start.

All I know is I feel angry and sad, and so I am turning to the one thing I always turn to when faced with powerful emotions-  I write.

It Reduced Me To Tears…

Here goes.

I was enjoying a leisurely Saturday morning lie in, sipping my tea in bed and flipping through the papers when an article caught my eye.

‘Disgusting’ bullying: Boy with cerebral palsy made to lie in muddy creek as human bridge for laughing classmates

– The Washington Post

This story, that took place in Glace Bay, Nova Scotia, reduced me to tears.

Deep Breath 

A young man with cerebral palsy, fourteen year old Brett Corbett, was sent to the school office when he turned up in class soaking wet, and when asked what had happened, he told the Principle that kids had dared him to swim in the creek behind the school.

The true story only came out when video of what actually occurred started circulating on social media.

Here is an excerpt from the WP story:

“In one video displayed with this article, Corbett, a high school freshman with cerebral palsy, is seen standing in the middle of shallow, murky water while more than a dozen kids stare down at him from the top of a small hill. He lies down on his stomach, keeping his palms flat in the mud to steady himself as the current rushes past him.

 Then, a moment later, a girl leaps from the bank, steps on Corbett’s back as if it were a springboard, and launches herself to the other side – turning Corbett into a human bridge.

 In another video, the teenagers are laughing hysterically. They yell at Corbett to get back in the water after he stands up. He doesn’t want to.

 “Do it, you f….. b….!” one classmate screams, and Corbett did.”

  Then three more students walked across him.

To Post About This Or Not?

Do you feel awful reading this?

I thought twice about writing this post because there is already so much negativity and pain in the world, and did I really want to inflict more on you through my newsletter?

Of course I don’t, but we need to balance the “ostrich hiding it’s head in the sand” impulse with taking a realistic look at what is going on in our world and examining our own actions in it.

So I am sharing it as a jumping off point to think about what the heck we are all doing with our lives.

How are we producing children that think it is ok to order a disabled boy into an ice cold stream and walk over him?

What the hell is wrong with our society?

And yes, I am a mother of a sweet young man who has a disability, and so this story hits me hard. But even without one of my sons’ having special needs I would still be angry.

I wonder about these bullying kids and their parents, because children as we know, emulate their parents.

And I also know that sometimes despite all good intentions, children can go off the rails.

In my view however, a child by the age of 10, maybe even younger, realizes the difference between right and wrong, so the responsibility in this case truly lies with the teenager instigators and bystanders.

How do they define a successful life?

What do they value as they move throughout the world?

In My ‘Hood

In my neighborhood there is one family who from the get go, pretty much shunned us from the moment we moved in.

At first I thought it was because of my son’s disability but after a few years I realized they avoided most everyone, and from sports teams to the school crossing guard, to the principle at our elementary school, they left a trail of conflict.

As an almost decade long observer of this family I have watched how those children have grown into ‘mini me’ versions of their parents, picking up what I can only describe as, negative and petty traits in the process.  And it wasn’t too surprising to hear that the mother and father recently went through a bitter divorce.

How does the individuals in that family define a successful life? I have often wondered.

It is certainly not through creating strong relationships in their community and giving back to others, and that is sad, because that is where the good stuff of life resides.

The World We Live In

Today our word is so visual, hyper paced, and focused on getting more.

As we prioritize making money and achieving status, over the care and nurturing of our children, we are instead creating a generation of self – centred, callous youth whose only goals are getting rich or famous and and to seeing how many ‘likes’ or followers they can get on the superficial world of social media.

Why did so many of those students film the awful treatment of Brett Corbett?

And they not only recorded it but seemed to have proudly posted it on social media?!

It’s hard to get your head around.

I know there are many decent young people out there to counter those, like the students above, who have clearly sinned, and by sinned I am not saying it in a biblical sense but am referring to the Latin meaning of the word which defines sin as having “missed the mark”.

These students have ‘missed the mark’ because they thought that by behaving like a group of screaming monkeys throwing rocks at a vulnerable member of their tribe for fun, that they would be cool, or be accepted.

And by not speaking up and saying “No that is not right!” they all hoped to avoid being on the receiving end of such abusive treatment themselves.

Superficial World, Superficial Goals 

What they will realize as they age, is that they will carry their shame and remorse for the part they played in this spectacle for many years to come, and this story for them, will never go away.

And for the victim?

Well there are people in their eighties that still experience nightmares over bullying that happened to them when they were kids.

It is so, so damaging.

But Brett Corbett, who said he did as the kids ordered because he wanted to be “accepted” says he has forgiven them. And that he hopes what he experienced will help prevent some other person from being treated so terribly.

This kid clearly has a big, bright, loving spirit and I believe he will do well in life. And it certainly has been heartening to see the outpouring of love he has received from people all around the world who, like me, feel so badly about what he had to go through.

My hope is that the young people who stood and watched Brett Corbett be humiliated will feel true remorse, embarrassment and sadness over how they have treated their fellow human being, and that they learn some important lessons from it.

But regardless I can’t shake the sense that we are all getting off track with our focus on all the “shiny things”, the flashy cars, big houses, the jet set lifestyle etc., because when we stop focusing on what really matters – our relationships with others, kindness and service to our community, we ALL lose.

What Will People Say About You When You Are Gone?

Think about it.

• What would you like people to say about you at your funeral?
• What would you want written on your gravestone?

That you had 20,000 Instagram ‘likes’ at the time of your death?

Or that you died with a million dollars in your bank account?

What about your children, or nieces and nephews, or your friend’s kids?

• How would you describe them?
• If they are still small, what type of individual would you like them see to grow into?

Not like one of the teenagers involved in the Glace Bay event, that I am sure of.

In the wake of this story, I know that I am going to be spending a few days thinking about how I define a successful life, and what I would like a successful life to look like for my children, and I’m going to further consider how I am showing up in the world and what I could improve upon.

After reading this, I hope you consider what a successful life means for yourself and your family as well.

Because I think we can all do a little better.

Until next time.

xo

Eliz

On Social……

On a lighter note, if you want to read about how the movie ‘The Princess Bride’ helped me deal with a demanding boss and get my ‘happy’ vibes back, click HERE

and look for the ‘As You Wish’ post.

The post It reduced me to tears. appeared first on Elizabeth Ritchie Counselling & Coaching Services.

Practicing radical self care! -7:30AM post gym selfie from Friday

(*Todays message was originally posted on my Instagram account Friday morning- hence the emojis!). https://www.instagram.com/elizturnercoach/?hl=en

Burn Out 

This is a subject that comes up again and again in my line of work. I have seen so many women juggling full time work, their families, supporting loved ones who are ill or disabled, striving to be perfect at work and home (the topic of perfection I will leave for another day as that is a meaty one!) – all while putting themselves on the back burner. A few years ago I did this as well.

But I learned some hard lessons and I do this no longer! ?

Why I practice radical self-care?

Because it is key!

If you aren’t functioning at 100% how can you best support others?

We want to be functioning from a soulful place of strength not operating out of fear, right? You can only run on the fumes of anxiety and stress for so long and then you will hit a wall.

How to prevent this?

RADICAL SELF CARE!

and…

… for me, going to the gym consistently is one of my RSC pillars.

My alarm went off at 5:30am and I did not want to get up as I was tired from a busy week, and the bed was so cozy, but I thought about how good I would feel after. So I went and took some of my micro aggressions out on the medicine ball! ?

Now as I write this I feel less stressed about events that before were bothering me, I feel calmer and stronger and I sleep better. ??

Exercise, restorative sleep, massages with an RMT, play, family time, things to look forward to, and eating food that comes from the ground, not a box or bag, are other key pillars of RSC ?.

The Daily Check In

So today please check in with yourself and ask what you are doing in terms of RSC?

How are you feeling in your body right now?

What would feel good to you to do today?

-Coffee with a friend?

-A nap?

-A stretching class?

-A hike?

-A long soak in the bath?

Do it!

Put yourself first and watch how everything else falls into place!

You deserve it!

xo

Eliz

The post Radical Self Care appeared first on Elizabeth Ritchie Counselling & Coaching Services.

I was working with a client recently who has been succumbing to ‘stinking thinking’. And by ‘stinking thinking’ I am saying that she is thinking thoughts that do not serve her. In response to this trend we had a chat about viewing her life from an observer’s perspective, instead of getting triggered and reacting.

‘Just observe your thoughts as they come up’ I said to her.  As we are both Game of Thrones fans I added; ‘Like an internal ‘watcher on the wall’ if you will.’  For you non GOT fans, the ‘watchers’ are the men from a group of soldiers called the Night’s Watch, who, high atop the ice wall, keep a look out for invading bands of ‘Wildings’ and zombie like ‘White Walkers’.

Tapping Into Our Inner ‘Watcher On The Wall’

When we learn how to tap into our inner ‘watcher on the wall’ BIG changes can occur.

Instead of reaching for that third bowl of potato chips, when our ‘watcher’ is activated, we have an opportunity to pause and question our automatic responses (like reaching for more potato chips!).

And with the pause comes the chance to ask;

‘Is eating this third bowl of potato chips really what I want to do right now?’ Or am I just bored? Maybe I am actually tired and what my body really needs at this moment is sleep, not more potato chips’.

With our inner ‘watcher’ alert we are less prone to falling for triggers like a snarky comment from a co-worker, or a judgmental remark from a family member. Instead we can simply sit back and observe the scene, and then tune into our inner dialogue ie. how we are reacting to what is being said, and questioning why we are reacting as we are.

The ‘watcher’ at work….

The watcher on the wall process might go along the lines of;

 ‘Wow. That is so interesting. I was telling X all about my fabulous new work project and then she said;

‘I hope you got that raise you have been wanting given all this extra work you are doing’.

Your ‘watcher’ contemplates her statement.

Hmmmm. How curious. She said that and then I felt irritated, because I have not yet asked for that raise. I can feel myself wanting to get defensive and argue with her, but I’m going to stay with this and let the situation unfold. I will let that trigger slip away. Yes, that certainly feels better.

‘Shoulding’ All Over Ourselves And Others

The client I was referring to at the start of this post has been troubled by thoughts such as;

‘I should have been promoted to senior management years ago”.

‘Really? I ask her. Should you have been? Who said that? Because I didn’t. Seems to me you are putting that pressure on yourself.’

To my client I added this.

‘And when you repeat that thought to yourself; ‘I should have been promoted to senior management years ago.’ How does that make you feel?

My client responds.

‘I feel bad’. 

‘I feel bad’.

Not how we want to feel right?

No, we want to feel good!

How can we take steps towards our goals and create amazing things in the world when we feel ‘bad’?

We can’t.

That is why we need to work on feeling good. And to feel good you need to think positive thoughts. Thoughts that will serve you and energize you and keep your momentum up.

Train Your Watcher To Do This….

So train your ‘watcher’ into catching these red flag phrases;

I should, I must, I need to, I have to.….

If you are thinking these kind of thoughts, that means is that your ‘watcher on the wall’ is asleep at the switch. The barbarians (unhelpful thoughts) are at the gate and your ‘watcher’ need to ‘get woke’ pronto or they will slip past and once they do, well then there will be trouble.

There will be trouble because…

….your thoughts create your feelings, your feelings create your actions, and your actions create your life.

Wake up your watcher, keep him / her alert and keep your thoughts helpful.

And it will all be good.

xo

Elizabeth

Jumping June 50% Life & Career Coaching Sale! … (*only until June 30th)

**** And there is just under a week left to take advantage of my ‘50% Off for 50 Years On The Planet’ (my fiftieth birthday!) June special.

50% off my 3 signature coaching programs but only until June 30th.

Space is extremely limited so book your spot ASAP.

Get the full deets HERE

The post Like on ‘Game of Thrones’? Kind of. Activating your inner ‘watcher on the wall’ for a better life. appeared first on Elizabeth Ritchie Counselling & Coaching Services.

We are half way through November and the the holiday season is upon us! Yikes- How did THAT happen? Who needs some ‘holiday survival tips’? I do!  lol

For me, the last couple of weeks have been a whirl of work, hockey, piano, costume parties, kid’s field trips and fairs. Whew!

In fact, it was so busy that I ended up putting my group coaching / cardio program ‘The Club’ on hold, which I was so looking forward to rolling out, but I have learned the hard way that there are limits to what I can manage at one time, so I stepped it back.

So are YOU ready for the holidays?

I am quasi ready.

I say ‘quasi’ because although things have been hectic (which seems to be the norm in my life!) my life will soon be going into WARP SPEED, and by ‘warp speed’ I mean moving out of our house as the renovations begin. (No they have yet to start…I thought we would be half way through by now!)

These aren’t just little renos either, I am talking about having to remove every light fixture in our house (with the exception of the boys rooms), and remove all major appliances, and completely clean out the garage and storage room type of reno.

Our pricing meeting with the renovation company is this Tuesday which puts us a step closer to demolition day (Good riddance blue powder room with the angel wallpaper!), and OF COURSE the reno will coincide with the Christmas season- Murphy’s Law!

So given the above events, this year my intention is to be as mindful as I can and use all my coaching tools to make sure December is full of peace and joy for myself and my family, and not chaos and overwhelm.

How to ramp up the peace, joy and fun this holiday season!

Here is to a peaceful and joyous holiday season! #nooverwhelm #nostress #noillness

On that note, I am now going to make a hot cup of tea and watch (again) the final installment of my  ‘Holiday Survival Guide’ videos which I made back in 2014.

I just watched videos 1 & 2 and took notes because I had forgotten a bunch!

Now if you have been a Full Flight insider for some time you may have watched these videos before, but don’t let that stop you from viewing them again because they are as relevant as ever, and are full of tips such as setting an intention for your holiday season, saying ‘no’ to events that drain you, and scheduling into the calendar ONLY the stuff that lights you up.

You can check out all three videos (Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh) out HERE.   Make sure you start with video number 1 (Gold).

#selfcare

Today I am off to do some holiday shopping downtown, followed by an overnight stay at one of my favourite Vancouver hotels, The Sutton Place. I am going solo and along with taking in all the bright lights and Christmas decorations, I am looking forward to some quiet time too, some alone time where I can gather my thoughts and energies for the festive season ahead, and for the new year, which is just around the corner.

Hope you enjoy the videos!

I also hope that you make the most of your holiday season, and if you don’t hear from me for awhile you will know that I am deep in ‘reno mode’.

Happy Holidays to you and yours!

xo

Eliz

I try and make a solo trip to the Sutton Place 1x per year -this shot is from last year’s stay. #selfcare #reflectivetime #dreamingandscheming

The post ‘Holiday Survival Tips’ – and why I am checking into a hotel today… appeared first on Elizabeth Ritchie Counselling & Coaching Services.

My ‘sit spot’.

With the beautiful autumn weather we have been experiencing on the West Coast I have been called away from my ‘To Do’ list and out into the sunshine of my backyard, where my ‘sit spot’ is. This is when I sit in stillness, observe nature and watch my thoughts for thirty minutes or more.

Personality wise my ‘set point’ for most of my life, has been more outer focussed.

The ‘Let’s start a project!’ ‘Set things up!’ ‘Make things happen!’ drive has long been a strength of mine as it guides me to get stuff done. The downside to this is I can ‘bite off more than I can chew’, and end up exhausted, and completely done with the world.

The Nature Cure

Over time I have learned to pace myself, and am now discovering the benefits of looking inwards, as opposed to externally.

Sometimes in my back yard I’m not meditating per se, but sitting quietly and observing the natural world around me; the bees, wasps, ants, and birds. Often I watch our cairn terrier Rebus as he snoozes in the sun, roots around in a hole, or tries his darnedest to catch a squirrel.

I am constantly surprised at how being in nature is SO satisfying.

How this backyard patch and the life within it, and the sky above me is, most days, all I need to restore balance.  The sun is warm, the sky is blue, bird song surrounds me, there’s a smell of grass and wood smoke in the air, my body is at ease in the chair- nothing else is needed or needs to be done.

‘To Do’ list?  What ‘To Do’ list?

When I make time for a ‘sit spot’ the outward stuff that I am usually propelling myself towards falls away.

In that moment I can understand how people who have lost everything; gone bankrupt, hit rock bottom, ended relationships etc. sometimes say that the worst thing that happened to them, turned out to be the BEST thing that ever happened to them.

Because in their stripped down, humbled state, they realize that they still possess everything they need, inside themselves and in nature.

Got Challenges?

And so my friend know this, despite whatever challenges you have right now in your life,  peace and contentment is always available to you.

It is available to you, IF you put away your ‘To Do’ lists for awhile, get off your phone and turn off Netflix, and tell your partner and your kids that for the next 30 minutes you are UNAVAILABLE.

Then find a quiet spot, outside in nature if the weather is good, and sit in stillness and fill yourself up on all the goodness that surrounds you, and is within you.

xo

Eliz

PS    AND!!!!!! Be sure to check out the beautiful poem by Mark Nepo (below) which was shared on FaceBook by one of the coaches from our Martha Beck tribe -I absolutely love it! And don’t miss the news about my new group coaching program, “The Club’ at the very end.

Quieting the Thieves

Today I am sad, or so I thought. But more I am tired of keeping up with all that doesn’t matter.

I’m sipping coffee, listening to the rain. I like watching the leaves hang in long weather. I like to close my eyes and feel the rain quiet the earth. I welcome that quieting. I like to have my habits of going here and there interrupted. I was caught in the rain when coming here. The cool blotches sink in all over.

The many lists I carry in my shirt are wet. I take them out to dry, and all the tasks have blurred. At last. Unreadable. Forgettable. We carry these lists near our heart and finger them like worry beads. It doesn’t matter what is on them. They are the thieves, and it is the insidious virtue to have everything in order before we live that is the greatest thief.

I feel the rain drip down my neck. I think I’m becoming unfinished.

-Mark Nepo

PPS

…and in case you missed it ‘The Club’ (Coaching, Cardio & Coffee Club) for local ladies kicks off Oct. 22nd. There will be awesome coaching lectures (by me!), hip hop dancing and snowshoeing and more…click HERE for all the details! Newbies always welcomed!!!

The post One thing that has saved my sanity (and it is not a ‘To Do’ list!) appeared first on Elizabeth Ritchie Counselling & Coaching Services.

Aftermath of the Las Vegas massacre Photo by FloCombat

In this Full Flight post I’m going to address the hard things first, followed by three uplifting things that I know you will appreciate -so be sure to read all the way through ok?

No way around it.

This past week has been devastating.

I CAN. NOT. GET. MY. HEAD. AROUND. what occurred in Las Vegas.

I watched the news last night and they showed pictures of all 58 of the victims.

Beautiful, caring people of all ages, bright lights of their communities, mothers, father, sisters, brothers, sons, daughters, all gone…..incomprehensible.  My husband pointed out that the loss of their lives will affect their families and neighbourhoods for generations to come.

Only someone with no experience of true love and connection could unleash this kind of horror.

And then amidst all this, the news that beloved rocker Tom Petty had died as well. Gone too soon at age 66.

‘You and I will meet again, when we’re least expecting it.

One day in some far off place, I will recognize your face. I won’t say goodbye, my friend, for you and I will meet again’.

– Tom Petty

Yep it was an awful week and it shook me, as I am sure it shook you as well.

I had all this pent up, angry energy and felt-off kilter.

But I also know feeling this way doesn’t serve anyone.  It doesn’t serve me, my family, my clients, my friends, it just isn’t helpful. And all that energy has to go somewhere, so what to do?

I started by channelling my dismay into Facebook Posts. After doing that for a day or two, I still felt sad and unsettled, so I took a different tact.

I did 3 specific things to get myself back into balance- and it worked!  And I posted a video about it on social media.

I called it:

‘3 Ways to Raise Your Vibration and Restore Your Equilibrium’

If you are feeling off balance or despondent after this awful week, or due to any other challenges you are experiencing in your life, then I recommend that you watch this VIDEO (click on the word ‘video’ for the link) because I know that if you take these steps, you WILL feel better!

If You Are a Local Women This Uplifting Group May Be Just What You Are Looking For! 

And for you local ladies (Surrey / Vancouver, BC area) – exciting news!!!

I have a new in- person coaching group starting soon! It’s called-

 ‘The Club’

(Coaching, Cardio and Coffee Club that is!)

‘The Club’ kicks off later this month and is a 4 month group coaching program that will meet up twice a month -once for group coaching and a coaching presentation in the evening, and one time a month for an ‘action’ oriented event (snowshoeing, private hip hop dance class etc…) on a Sunday.

If you are looking for fun group of like- minded women and want to be inspired, empowered AND break a sweat, you can find out all about this new fun coaching group HERE.

Need More Laughter? 

(and who doesn’t?)

And because we all need more laughter in our lives, check THIS trailer out – Steve suggested we watch this show last night and I was uplifted because it was HILARIOUS (especially the bit about the socks!!!!).

You do need a subscription to NETFLIX however to access it…and I recommend that you do as it does not disappoint!

That’s it for today lovely.

Sending you peace, love, light and laughter after a tough week, and to my fellow Canadians – Happy Thanksgiving!

We ALL have so much to be thankful for don’t we?

xo

Eliz

The post After a tough week, 3 uplifting things for YOU! appeared first on Elizabeth Ritchie Counselling & Coaching Services.

TGIF!

Hope you are having a fantastic day!

I’m talking about goals today so keep reading to find out what my pant size has to do with my current goals and my ‘word of the year’!

Well it is the end of the week peeps and we finally seem to have seen the back end of the winterish weather. It is sunny as I write this but more spring rains are a coming apparently, on par with living in a rain forest I guess!

I am in a ‘fabulous Friday’ kinda mood as I am off to see U2 and Mumford and Sons at BC Place tonight with Steve!

Cannot wait!

I think the last concert we went to together was Coldplay about 5 or 6 years ago, we are well overdue.

And yes I did pay WAAAAAYYY too much for these tickets through a ticket resale site (thinking I was purchasing in Canadian $ when it was really $US-gulp!) but I am going to put that aside and enjoy the show, and for the record I am TOTALLY going to lobby for legislation to out- law ticket re-sales, I cannot believe that this is allowed! What hasn’t anybody done anything about it? I will be contacting my MP this week (I don’t know why I didn’t do that at the time I got fleeced, but will do so now!).

I am also feeling particularly pumped this morning as I am on an endorphin high from my workout at Thrive Fitness Studio. The instructors there really know how to push you (so much so that you can barley lift a loaf of bread the next day) but overall I haven’t felt this good in a long time.

I need to give my friend Erin props for suggesting it to me;

‘Thx Erin!’.

I have a bunch of updates to share with you today – related to my ‘Word of The Year’ so be sure to keep reading because there are some points I am hoping you can take away and apply to your own life.

Let’s go! 

Passion Dream School is Underway!

This week I am fine tuning Module 3 of Passion Dream School, my online course that is all about creating a more peaceful and gorgeous life.  I can’t believe it is Week 3 already, we are about half way done! And the feedback about the course so far has been good. Yay!!!

As I review the information contained in the first 3 weeks of the modules – about owning your worth, creating your ideal environment, and goal setting, I find it is helping me recalibrate my daily practices and improve my focus as I continue to work towards my goals.

‘Word of the Year’ Update

If you have been a Full Flight Insider for awhile you will know that every year I like to choose a ‘word of the year’ (WOTY) -a word that represents how you want to feel in the coming months, and for 2017 I choose ‘LEAN’.

I liked ‘LEAN’ as it represented what I aspired to, not just in my body and overall health and wellness, but in my home environment, business and finances too.

So that means for this new year I intended to;

• lose some weight and gain muscle (become ‘lean’ in my body)
• de-clutter my home and create a more uplifting, peaceful environment (make my space ‘lean’)
• weed out unnecessary expenses, fees, charges etc. from our financial investments and ensure that we only hold worthwhile vehicles  (make our finances ‘lean’)
•  in my coaching business, get more specific about what I provide as a coach and who I can best serve, while paring down programs that no longer resonate with me, or my overall business model (make my business ‘lean’)

We are now four months into 2017 and let me tell you, for the first two months I really wondered about the wisdom of choosing ‘lean’ as my WOTY AND announcing this publicly on social media!

February was a dismal month as the kids were sick and then there were snow days so school was cancelled, and it all felt like two steps forward, one step back.

By month three though, I found my stride, and I want to share with you a few things that helped me stay on track with my WOTY, as my experience may help you as you focus on your own ‘WOTY’ and your own goals for the remainder of 2017.

SO ABOUT ‘LEAN’

Why I quit my gym…

Although I liked the gym I was going to (and had been going to for about 15 years) I quit last month, because in January I started a small group training exercise class (as mentioned above) at a studio close to my house. Going to my previous gym and working out on my own wasn’t getting me the desired results, so I knew I needed to change things up.

When I first started the class (1x per week each Wednesday)  I could barely get through the 45 minute circuit (and my ongoing plantar fasciitis didn’t help matters either-still not cured of that BTW), but over the next few months I saw an improvement in my cardio and strength, so a few weeks ago I decided to add a second class.

I am happy to report I feel like a different person!

Here are some changes I have noted;

-I went for a bike ride with my kids and my youngest said “Mom slow down you are going too fast”, where as in September I was huffing and puffing, trying to keep up with them. *That was my first big clue that I was making gains (I have not weighed myself since January and I have NO CLUE what I weigh right now).

-Last weekend I went in for my 3 month assessment at the studio and instead of holding the plank for 40 seconds I held it for a one minute 15. Instead of lifting an 8 pound weight like I was doing back in January, I was now lifting 15 pounds. I could not even do a proper burpee when I started and now I can do 10 in a row.

-I went shopping the other day for new summer pants and bought two pairs that were both a size smaller than what I was wearing last summer.

Improvements!!!

Why I didn’t care that I irritated our financial planner…

So you know how I was focussed on making our family finances ‘leaner’?

Well in February I spent TWO WEEKS, (yes two entire weeks) reviewing every aspect of our financials- mortgage, debt, investments, RRSPs, RESPs and Oliver’s RDSP (registered disability savings program) AND doing research on the best investment vehicles for our family. (Handling the family finances doesn’t really turn my husband’s crank, but I actually enjoy it and I think I am pretty darn good at it too!)

This financial overhaul meant talking at length to our advisor and asking him any question that came up. My advisor is a patient man and he responded to all my emails and spent a couple of hours over those two weeks on the phone with me explaining anything I didn’t quite get.

There would have been a time not so long ago where I would have just accepted the advisors recommendations and not spoken up about anything I was confused about, but I can’t live like that anymore. I am at that point in my life that I don’t care if I ‘make waves’ (and it has taken me a long time to get here!).

I figure it is our money and I need to understand where it is going and what it is doing, and I don’t care if my many questions irritate someone.

Because I spoke up I now have a much better understanding of what is going on with our investments and the market,  and once I had the information I needed I instructed our advisor to move money from funds of their choosing to funds of MY choosing and in the process switched over some $ from mutual funds to index funds (lower fees).

Last month our investments had a great month, so so far so good!

But really, regardless of what happens in the market, I feel it is a big WIN, because spending time and energy to understand what is going on with our money and then making our financial investments ‘lean’, turned out to be a very empowering experience.

The state of my office

Welllllll……, it hasn’t come along as far as I had hoped but my husband is almost done with scraping the ‘popcorn’ off the ceiling, so I am hoping that by next weekend we can start prepping to paint.

Once painted I can move out of the laundry room (where my desk and computer currently are) and set up shop again. When I moved into the laundry room several months ago I did a big purge of old papers, files and books and I will do another before moving back in.  I am slowly getting streamlined and creating a beautiful new space to work in, and I bought a new picture for my office wall which I can’t wait to put up.

So in terms of streamlining my home (making it ‘lean’) it is coming along!

The state of my business

As mentioned the Passion Dream School course is underway and I am having a blast with it !!!

I discovered the I really love creating audio trainings (a big part of PDS), and this is something new for me. This course is all done on-line which is fabulous as the participants can work on it on their own time, and re-listen, review portions as need be.

Due to scheduling conflicts, I decided not to run another round of the ‘live’ Power Posse group this spring, but I am looking forward to catching up with the last PP group next month for a coffee, a hike and coaching ‘brush up’ session (if the gals are interested in a ‘brush up’ that is).

We will also be stopping by Vista D’Oro winery, as Lee, who was part of the last Power Posse group, has just published a cookbook ‘The Preservatory’ all about her delicious preserves and I am looking forward to getting a copy and taking home another jar of her delicious vanilla rhubarb preserve.

As usual I have other ideas percolating in regards to Full Flight Life Coaching so watch this space for info about more about future offerings…

What I learned about this ‘word of the year’ process – in a nutshell

I’m sharing all this with you because I think choosing the right (for me) WOTY helped keep my focus in the above areas of my life.

So that being said I recommend;

-That you have choose a ‘WOTY’ that is right for YOU, and if you have chosen one, now would be a great time to review it and see how you are making out in terms of your progress.

-That you have the necessary supports in place to help you achieve your goals. (I could not have made progress on my health & wellness goal without enrolling in a new exercise group, or trying something new)

-Don’t be afraid to ‘make waves’ and ask the questions that need to be asked. Women have a particularly tough time with making themselves heard but when we stay small and quiet we lose our power. Don’t accept the status quo if you are uncomfortable with it.

-Make changes if you need to. Just as I quit one gym and signed up with another you may need to juggle things a bit too.

-Listen to your gut but do your research as well. I knew that in terms of our finances our fees were too high, so I asked to move our money, but before I did I made sure to do all my homework so I could stand my ground with my advisor and not get ‘talked out of things’.

As we approach the half way point of the year, take a few moments and check in with yourself and see what small adjustments or tweaks you might like to make in order to get closer to making your goals, (your dreams really!) a reality.

Hope this helps my friend!

And now I must dash, get my kids over to my Mom and Dad’s and head downtown for the big show!

Have a wonderful weekend!

xo

Eliz

PS

The below clip is from a social media post the other day (word of the year update on Instagram).

The post U2, my pant size (lol), going after your goals, and more …. appeared first on Elizabeth Ritchie Counselling & Coaching Services.

A relief to finally see the blossoms and sun!

What the Navy SEALs taught me about clutter and regret….

It is the weekend, yipee!

Despite having one of the wettest stretches of weather anyone in the Vancouver, BC area can remember (the most rain since they began keeping records!) it is wonderful to see the blossoms out and the green shoots on the trees. Winter is to our backs now, relief! I am so looking forward to warm, sunny days ahead.

New This Week

Today I am sharing some quick tips all about reducing mental and physical clutter and ushering in new energy and fresh ideas.

Spring cleaning for your mind and soul!

Whether it is a pile of papers on your desk, a jumble of never used items in your garage or a kitchen counter that has turned into a family dumping ground, these spots of clutter may be impacting you more than you think.

Physical clutter can sap your energy, energy that could be better directed towards your family, learning a new skill, play or exercise. Too much stuff can cause anxiety, while hardly worn clothes hanging in your closet can cause feelings of guilt. 

Mental clutter,  like stress, worry, and overwhelm, can deplete you even more AND take a toll on your physical health. New medical studies are showing strong links between stress and depression, anxiety, weight gain, diabetes, high blood pressure and strokes.

What Can I Do About Clutter?

Below you will find tips on blowing away the cobwebs (in your mind and your home!) and a three step process that Navy SEALs do to clear out regretful thoughts (and they practice deep breathing too!).

Clearing Physical Clutter 

1. Spend 5 minutes a day tidying only one area of your home.
2. Designate a space for incoming mail / papers.
3. Have a place for everything so your family knows where to put items.
4. File papers immediately.
5. Pick one shelf or drawer at a time to tidy.

Clearing Mental Clutter 

1. Take deep breaths.
2. Take a brain break-exercise, go for a walk, nap.
3. Ask yourself whether you really need to do those items on your ‘to do’ list.
4. Get your focus off the past, instead focus on where you want to go.
5. Leave ‘white space’ on the calendar for reflective time.

Think like a Navy SEAL 

Navy SEALs clear out mind clutter with an ‘after action review‘, a three question process that allows them to learn from the past and do better moving forward.

The next time you find yourself caught up in regret or feelings of remorse ask yourself the following 3 questions;

1. What was suppose to happen?
2. What actually happened?
3. What would I do differently next time?

They ask themselves these questions then they move on. They don’t waste time and energy dwelling on the past, instead they clear that mental clutter quickly and get on with things. 

Passion Dream Challenge starts April 10th!

If you would like more information on systems and tools for clearing mental and physical clutter and creating more spaciousness and ease in your life then be sure to sign up for my FREE de-clutter challenge that starts this Monday, April 10th.

Each morning for 7 days you will receive a short, fun video in your in-box, in which I will share with you your daily de-clutterring ‘mission’. This mission will showcase one system or technique I use to vanquish overwhelm and mess.

You don’t have to do anything interactive with this challenge- you can save the videos, watch them at your leisure and try out these mind and soul cleansing tools  in your own time!

Sign up for the free Passion Dream Challenge HERE

Hope you can get outside this weekend and take in those blossoms! 

xo 

Eliz

7 Day Passion Dream De-Clutterring Challenge

The post What the Navy SEALs taught me about clutter and regret…. appeared first on Elizabeth Ritchie Counselling & Coaching Services.

Most times we are doing better than we realize.

I have been thinking a lot about how hard it is to slow down, step back and appreciate how well we are doing. To take a moment out of our day to practice some self love. I don’t know about you, but my mind, when I let it run amok, immediately latches on to the ‘next thing’ in both the personal and business aspects of my life.

For example;

I watch my elder son with his unique needs learn to print legibly and spell, and think;

When will he be able to write a full page?

I bang out 10 burpees at the gym, compare myself to my gym mate who can do 30 and ponder how long it will take until I can do 30. I wrap up a great coaching session with a client and instantly wonder when the next new client will walk through my door. I complete one coaching program and before I have a chance to catch my breath, I instinctively start planning the next launch.

It does make one’s head spin…

…and thankfully this tendency is weakening!

By saying ‘no’ to over scheduling, putting self care at the forefront of all of my decisions, and incorporating practices into my life guaranteed to slow me down and be more mindful, I can then focus on how well things are going in my life and I can better appreciate my progress.

Last night I sat on the couch completely wiped after a week of coaching and filming 8 new videos (8!) for my new free coaching challenge (coming soon!) and from getting up at 4:15AM for a 5:30AM morning workout.  Just sitting and doing nothing felt really good and while doing so I silently congratulated myself.

‘Girl, you did good this week!’ .

Yes there was unfinished work on my desk and dirty dishes in the kitchen sink but no matter. Winter and summer, work and rest, ebb and flow it is all cyclical, and last night ease was called for, not the creation of an enhanced ‘to do’ list,  so I kicked back with my husband and watched Netflix.

Do You Have A Self Love Practice?

At the end of February’s Love Warrior coaching workshop we gave heart shaped notebooks to each participant and asked them to, each night before they went to bed, write down one thing they did well that day, and to do this for 30 days.

The point of the exercise was self love – to make themselves aware of and appreciate the hard work they did for their families and others, day in and day out, actions which in the blur of everyday life often pass unnoticed.

I participated in this practice too and each night before I turned off the bedside light I jotted down at least one thing I had done well that day.

Some days were good, some not as good, but I did it and looking back I have to say doing this positively impacted my life.

It wasn’t that I did incredible things every day, in fact, some days were downright mundane, but keeping the focus on my daily accomplishments certainly made me feel better than lying in bed thinking about all the unfinished business I had to do, or mulling over something that had not gone off the way I had hoped it would.

It also reminded me that the routine days, the days when my energy went into the menial tasks that all mothers and workers of the world do- grocery shopping, preparing meals, cleaning / tidying the house, practicing piano with your child, reading with your kids, seeing to the family’s health and dental appointments, business paperwork, bookkeeping…. this stuff was actually the important stuff, the stuff that keeps your life and that of your families positively moving forward.

What I jotted down in my heart shaped notebook;

-‘Made a healthy family dinner’.

-‘Felt really tired so listened to my body and spent time resting in the backyard’.

-‘Completed my blog post’.

-‘Reviewed our financial investments-hard mental work!’

-‘Made fish for dinner (healthy)’.

-‘Washed dog after dog park.’

-‘Completed a tough workout at the gym despite my plantar fasciitis’.

-‘Visited with my niece / family -brought my niece her birthday present’.

-‘Had good coaching session with client X, then shopped for groceries’.

Not earth shattering stuff is it?

But it made me feel good to write these things down. Even if I got into bed somewhat discouraged because I hadn’t accomplished as much as I had wanted to do, or because I got bogged down on a tech problem, or was exhausted from the constant activity that comes with being a Mom to young kids- through this practice I was forced to stop, be mindful, and identify out at least one positive aspect of the day.

Yay! – ‘I did get a healthy dinner on the table tonight’, I would say to myself.

Message: I am caring for my family.

Yay! -‘I completed my blog post’.

Message: I am making my work a priority and putting in the time.

Yay! -‘I was tired, so I took a nap’.

Message: Despite having a bunch of stuff to do, I cared for myself and rested.

Don’t Have a Self-Love Practice?

Steal this one please!!!!

And today (and maybe for the next 30 days if you really want to be good to yourself!), I hope you take a moment and congratulate yourself for all YOU do.

I know life can be tough.

I know you do A LOT.

You are doing SO WELL!…

…and I hope on a consistent basis, you slow down and remind yourself of that.

and if you feel like you have been letting yourself down a bit in the self love department you might want to check out THIS -it’s for Friday April 28th and I have one spot available.

xo

Eliz

The little heart shaped note books we gave out.

The post Why I am doing so well and YOU are too! (Self Love Sunday) appeared first on Elizabeth Ritchie Counselling & Coaching Services.

This was a pre-workshop shot of TJ’s living room – we were a packed house but still managed to find room for an afternoon, shoulder to shoulder, stretch break!

How to create more freedom in your life

Our Love Warrior workshop was last weekend and TJ and I were thrilled with the turn out- It was a SELL OUT! A true testament to the power of this book. It was wonderful to get together with our fellow ‘sister warriors’ to discuss concepts from Glennon Doyle Melton’s bestselling book ‘Love Warrior’. Each woman that came out had a unique point of view and shared how Glennon’s story mirrored their own in some way.

This was powerful stuff people!

Well beyond the surface chit chat we get so often in groups- we talked about the life stuff that REALLY matters- things like; authenticity, grace, connection and courage and how these variable help us create true freedom in our lives.

TJ and I created and shared a couple of coaching exercises with the group during the workshop and for homework after. One topic we touched on was ‘Ways your authentic self says ‘NO!’.

 Ways the authentic self (your true self /soul) says ‘No!’

At certain points in the book Glennon speaks about hiding behind her ‘representative’. She is talking about putting on that social mask that we hide behind when we aren’t sure what to do or we don’t have the courage to do what we really want to do.

In the book Glennon speaks about wearing clothes she isn’t comfortable in, dying her hair because she isn’t ok with her natural color, wearing a lot of makeup while noticing that her female therapist wears none, behaving in specific ways (bulimia, alcohol, drugs, sex, compulsive shopping, gambling etc…) in an effort to ‘fit in’, doing all this when deep down she feels horrible about how she is behaving and what she is doing with her life…

….that is what hiding behind your ‘representative’ looks like- things may look pretty at the surface but underneath it’s chaotic.

At the end of the workshop everyone got this small heart notebook for part of the homework exercise….also in the pic you can spot my research sticky notes for the workshop sticking out

Workshop Exercise

During the workshop we looked at ways of bringing our true selves to the forefront while simultaneously dissolving ‘the representative’. The first step in stepping out from behind your representative is realizing when it shows up.

Here are a few ways YOUR authentic self might be saying ‘no’;

1. Energy crisis / Mood swings
2. Getting sick
3. Forgetting/ Making Mistakes / Social Slip Ups
4. Addictions -alcohol, drugs, sex, shopping, food…
5. Fight or Flight

Do you recognize any of these?

I know I do!

Now what?

Get Conscious

If you can relate to this and you are conscious of the fact that you a) have a ‘representative’ and b) that she does indeed show up, then hooray for you because you are half way there! Being conscious of your ‘representative’ is truly a gateway to a more inspired life.

Get Curious

Now get a bit more curious about the specifics. Notice where your representative shows up, note the environment, the people that trigger you, how you behave and go DEEP with the why…

Ask yourself- what is it about this particular situation that makes me feel I need to ‘tamp down’ my true self?

For example-

Why when I go into a meeting with this person do I feel I need to put on my ‘academic’ or ‘professional’ facade? How do I want them to see me? Is this the real me? Why am I concerned about showing my ‘true’ self?

Get Courageous and …

One lovely workshop participant wisely pointed out that courage is a major theme of the book, and she was right. Being conscious is the first step, getting curious is the second, but to make a change, well that my friend is the third step because it takes courage!

…make a change!

It is one thing to notice when your representative is present but another to act on it. Being a ‘love warrior’ means being courageous and taking some kind of action intended to ‘disable’ the representative, which in turns leads to showing more of your authentic self to the world.

Keep in mind though that this doesn’t always mean taking massive action, it can also mean taking one teeny, tiny step in support of your true self which is a step towards FREEDOM.

….and who doesn’t want more of that in their life?

xo

Eliz

PS

Do you know someone who would like this post? If so please share…

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